I know that the practice of writing Thank You notes has become less common in our era of emails and text messages. Believe me, my boys tell me I'm old-fashioned on this topic. But I still feel that if someone takes the time and makes the effort to give you a gift, the least you can do is spend a few minutes to write them a note and acknowledge their effort.
When the boys were born, I wrote their Thank You notes. But as soon as they were old enough to write their names, I brought them into the process. When they were in pre-school, I'd still write the notes, but they would have to write their names on each one.
As they got older, we did "fill-in-the-blank" notes, where they would write the name of the recipient, what the gift was, and then their own name on each card. I would print the cards out on the computer, saying something like "Dear ____, Thank you for the _____. I'm glad you could come to my birthday party. From, _____." Not only did the boys begin to learn some etiquette this way, I found it also helped them remember which gifts came from whom, something that was often lost in the frenzy of post-party gift opening.
Once the boys started elementary school, I gave each of them personalized stationery and turned over the whole note-writing process over to them. Well, sort of. Not surprisingly, writing the notes wasn't a priority or favorite activity for them. So I instituted a rule. They could open one or two gifts right after their parties. But any other gifts could not be opened, and checks or cash could not be spent, until the corresponding Thank You note was written. I know, I'm a Meanie. But it works.
The ultimate Thank You note challenge came after our sons' Bar Mitzvahs. Each had to write more than 100 notes. Again, it was time for some rules. No video games or computer time until they wrote at least five notes each day. I know - a Super Meanie. But every gift was acknowledged. And after they were done, the boys had a bit more appreciation of how many people had celebrated with them and thought enough of them to spend some time and effort to honor them for their accomplishments on their special day.
I won't really know for a while if my Thank You note obsession will pay off. I'm not sure they'll write them when they're out on their own. But I'm hoping they will. Maybe I'll even get one for teaching them such good manners. Yeah, right.