When I was pregnant, we would joke that the baby's first words would not be "Mama" or "Dada," but "Jax, no" or "Jax, down." That made us laugh. But once the baby got home we were not so amused: How many naptimes have ended in a blaring of barking? How many times have I had to balance a baby with one hand and pull a rawhide from under the couch with the other? How many times have I had to sanitize a baby toy that Jax insists should be a dog toy?
But things worked up to a heated pitch recently when my father came to visit. This we know to be fact: Jax bit my father three times - once in front of me and bad enough to tear through his corduroy pants, drawing blood. But everything else is in question. My husband swears Jax was just defending himself, since my father does have a penchant for stepping on his tail or paw. My father insists we have a diabolical beast in our midst, just waiting to unleash his jealous canines on the baby.
My husband and I lived through a couple of tense days debating what to do. I, for one, kept picturing a hospital scene, where I sat at the bedside of my young son, ready to jump off a bridge for not getting rid of the pooch. But in the end we decided to give it time. Any snapping at the baby, and bye bye doggie. Barring that, we would keep regularly sweeping up his clouds of fur and protesting his insistent shows of affection.
To be sure, animal bites are a serious concern for children. According to CHOP, 5 million Americans are bitten by dogs every year, with half of that being children. They warn that parents should carefully train their kids on how to greet new dogs, when to leave them be, and not to tease or harm them.
But right now, with a four-month-old, we faced a one-sided fight. Was Jax okay to keep his place in the family?
In the end, Mr. Nutso won out. And, for the thousandth time, I am relearning acceptance and patience. The dog will always try to bolt through the picture window when the mail is being delivered and when the baby is sleeping. He will always want to sit in my lap right when it's time for a bottle. My dad will always insist Jax is a biter, and as long as he keeps stepping on him, Jax will give him yet more evidence.
And, best of all, Jax will always try to get at the baby. Not to hurt him, but to yet again bathe his face or hands with kisses, even as I yell "Jax, no!" But I know I'm beat. In due time, the baby, now a toddler or little boy, will be pushing food off the table on purpose and sneaking our unruly mutt into his bed. And really, who am I to stop the start of such a love affair?
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