I'm pretty secure as a mom, especially since Emma likes me best! Yes, our children have each picked a favorite parent (although, as parents, we insist we can never have a favorite child!) Every night, the preferences are clear. At bedtime, Greg and I trade each night: one night Greg puts Luke to bed and I put Emma to bed. The next night, we switch. So on nights that Greg puts Luke to bed and I put Emma to bed, our children are thrilled. The other nights, there is disappointment in the air. Even on vacation, when we are all in great moods, when it is time to pick seats on the airplane, at dinner, on an amusement ride, Emma wants to sit next to me and Luke wants to sit next to Greg. But it doesn't bother me.
As Dr. Ellen Weber Libby explained in Psychology Today, "Children can love both parents and still favor one over the other. Favorite implies a preference, a stronger pull towards one person rather than another.
"This behavior is often observed in children who say they love one parent more than the other when most likely the children are expressing a preference for one parent. The parent who children prefer reflect a moment in time or the time of life, or be fixed to one parent for most of a lifetime. Children may momentarily favor the parent who is more permissive, or during a stage of life, the parent who the child identifies as most supportive of their athletic, artistic, or intellectual interests."
I'm sure the pendulum will continue swinging. If Emma is anything like I was as a teenager, I seriously doubt I will be her favorite parent in her turbulent teen years. And, I'm sure Luke will have moments of rebellion against his strict Dad. But, for now, Greg and I are just happy that both children love us, no matter who is considered "the favorite."
Happy parenting!
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