The idea is a sweet one: they follow four babies - one from Japan, Mongolia, America and Namibia - through the first year of life. As you might imagine, the notion is enforced that while we may all grow up different, we are very much the same as humans. A smile in Japan, a tantrum in America, a first step in Namibia and a mother's infanticipating love in Mongolia are all darling.
But one major area of contrast got me thinking. The babies in the developed countries, both little girls, were very familiar to me. They have all the clothes, the toys, appointments at baby classes and parental hovering that I see in my own world.
But things are very different for the two boys, both living in the developing world. The little African boy has his face spit cleaned by his mother, takes a drink face down in a stream, sticks his hand in dog's mouth and lolls about in the dust. His Mongolian compatriot lives his little baby life even more independently. As an infant, he is wrapped and left on a bed, watching as a rooster comes flapping around. As he gets bigger we watch him play naked in the open field, crawl through an animal enclosure - just a hoof away from getting brained by a goat - and pour bloody water from an animal butchering over his head.
This is clearly life without the guardrail.
So what was I to think? My inbox is full of mail warning that every bottle must be sterilized, floor sanitized and my house childproofed. I am always anxious as I step away to grab something, even if my son is secured in a bouncy or swing, about what may happen with the animals. His bibs are barely dirty before they are changed, his snotty nose ever wiped. He is always in eyeshot, usually within arm's reach. Everything that gets into his hands, be it a toy or book, I put there. I am constantly taking things out of his reach. He even sleeps with a monitor overheard, so I can be an eye in the sky even in the middle of the night.
So is that better for him or not, compared to his amigos in the film? Dr. David Pollack of CHOP says it is understandable how we evolved into such a protective society. And cleanliness and supervision are not bad things. But he points to his own Brooklyn childhood, where he spent his entire days playing, only coming home at curfew. "We didn't have cell phones, we didn't have pagers. My mother didn't come out and check on me. That's the way I grew up and I wish kids could do that today," he says.
Even for infants, curiosity, discovery and risk are important tools. It's probably no accident that the babies in Namibia and Mongolia are walking and talking before the girls in the Western world. They also seem calmer and happier, laughing their way through spills. Dr. Pollack says that's more likely than in a child who is being coached, in not forced, through games or toys or parental pestering to take steps or say words early. "These kids are not nearly as stressed or over programmed as we have allowed our Western kids to become."
Dr. Pollack points out that the kids in the developing countries, while allowed more independence, still exist in more of a community than babies in the West. They are often surrounded by other kids. They live in smaller villages, where they can get to know all the members and form relationships. Their parents are usually shouting distance away, rather than working and commuting far away. This, Dr. Pollack says, contributes to them feeling part of the whole, developing a sense of self-esteem, not self-centeredness.
Obviously, we can't chuck our lives and move to small, rural villages. But there are some lessons we can take away. "I think parents have to be able to help children decide which risks to take and then step back enough to allow them to take some on their own."
For example, many new parents are quick to jump when a baby cries, especially in the middle of the night. You should make all decisions with your family doctor. But many doctors now advise not being so quick to act. Give it a few minutes. Your child might put himself back to sleep or comfort himself after a small boo-boo. Let him get a little dirty. Back up within in ear and eyeshot, but let him experience time in his own company (keep the camera phone handy... it's amazing what the little guys can come up with on their own). Make play fun - like a simple pot and pan to explore sound. In all, even at this early age, try to foster his sense that he is already a capable, independent individual who can lie, sit, crawl, walk and one day run on his own.
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