Billy spent the holiday weekend in a great deal of pain, which even Tylenol with codeine couldn't control, along with intense swelling in his fingers and upper arm. In addition to the physical pain, he was emotionally devastated. The break and subsequent surgery mean that he'll be in a splint and unable to participate in sports, or play his instruments (he plays piano, tenor sax and guitar) for the summer. He'll be in the splint and sling at overnight camp and will not be able to attend the Eagles football camp we'd signed him up for or the pre-season football camp for the high-school freshman team. He also had to miss "Music in the Parks" - when he was set to solo with the middle school Senior Jazz Band for judges and then spend the day with his band mates at Dorney Park. Needless to say, he was a pretty depressed guy.
The pain started to subside a bit on Memorial Day, just in time for him to go into surgery on Tuesday. The surgery and swelling he experienced after the surgery was so severe that 1) it could not be controlled with morphine and 2) he had to spend the night in the hospital because the doctors feared he might be developing Compartment Syndrome - which is basically when the nerves of muscles get caught up on the break or the hardware that's been installed (he now has two rods and about a dozen screws in his arm) and atrophy. It was a long, sleepless night for both of us. Fortunately, he did not develop the syndrome and we were able to go home late Wednesday afternoon. Unfortunately, he was still in a lot of pain, requiring Percoset for several more days. He was counting the minutes from dose to dose. It took until Sunday to get him off the narcotics and onto non-prescription painkillers. By Monday, he pain was under control enough for him to return to school.
So, what's the parenting lesson here? I think there are many. First, being a parent allows you to experience huge peaks of love, happiness and pride. The night before he was hurt, Billy played an amazing solo with the Jazz Band at the Spring Concert. But those huge peaks of wonderful emotions come at a cost. Parenting also exposes you to huge valleys of pain. The worst, of course, would be the loss of a child. I can't imagine what that is like. But watching your child experience excruciating pain and huge disappointment hurts more, I think, than experiencing those things yourself. I can't tell you how many times over the past two weeks I've wished it was my left arm - I don't care about football camp or band competitions or summer sports. It would've been so much easier for me. But that's not what happened.
The good news is that Billy is on the mend. We're going back to the surgeon tomorrow to have the sutures removed and the cast will be replaced by a removable splint. He should be able to play football again (though maybe not this year), and he should be able to regain his strength and dexterity to play his instruments. He'll have some scars on his arm (which for boys his age is sort of a badge of honor) and hopefully a year from now, this will be a distant memory for him. And though much of this experience was negative, I do feel our bond grew a bit. He was a bit of a nasty patient (understandable with his pain level), but he knew his Mom would put up with him and that 's made us closer. So, even the tough moments of parenting can be clouds with silver lining.
For advice on helping you child deal with injuries, you might want to check out these websites:
http://parenting-ed.org/pdf/children-cope-pain.pdf
http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/acp/hospital/brochures/Hospital-Child.pdf
http://www2.massgeneral.org/painrelief/Helping%20Your%20Child%20Cope%20with%20Pain.pdf
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