He already knows two of his bunkmates from school. And Billy's at the same camp. Plus, several of my oldest son's friends - whom Micah knows as well - are CITs (counselors-in-training) who have promised to keep an eye on him for me. I have complete confidence in the camp's directors and counselors. Yet, after I made Micah's bed and helped him organize his stuff, I had to hold back my tears during our hug goodbye. A hug which - I should add - was at MY insistence. He seemed quite ready to watch me go out the cabin door.
Turns out, I'm not alone. I'm trying to take comfort in the following statement from the online Summer Camp Handbook: "Perhaps your child will have no trouble at all with good-byes. Don't be surprised or upset if she makes friends quickly at camp and doesn't want you to hang around too long. This is a positive sign of growing independence."
And Independence is one of the big reasons we send our boys to overnight camp. It's important for them to learn how to make their own beds, make new friends, learn new routines, and learn to depend on themselves. As I've stated in this blog before, I think letting children go is both one of the hardest and one of the most important parts of parenting. Of course, knowing that and actually doing it are two different things.
I'll be obsessively checking the camp website for the next four weeks, to find pictures of the boys and then analyzing every one of their facial expressions in those photos to try to determine if they're happy. I'll be rushing home to check the mail for those all-too-rare letters home. And I'll be comparing notes with other parents whose children are at the same camp for tidbits about the Buckman Boys.
Four weeks from now, my boys will be back home. I hope they'll have had a fabulous time and grown up in some ways. It was the same when I dropped them off for their first day of pre-school. It'll be the same when Jason goes to college next year. Seems it's just something we moms (and dads) have to get used to - saying cheerful goodbyes, when deep down inside a little voice is saying, "Don't ever go away, don't leave me, and don't grow up."
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