The phone call came about because the junior camp took a day trip to Dorney Park. Since a number of 17-year-old Jason's friends are CITs, he planned a Dorney trip himself to meet up with them. I told him to be on the lookout for Micah - and to call me once they hooked up.
So far, Micah has sent home five letters, all of which include either "Camp is great!" or "Camp is fun!" so I wasn't really worried about him. But I do miss him. Apparently, as I learned from our short phone chat, more than he misses me. But it's a good thing. I can tell that even in these few short weeks, he's done some growing up. And his growth is due, I think, to positive peer pressure.
Parents worry a lot about peer pressure - will other kids encourage our children to smoke, drink, take risks while driving, bully, tease, or just do something plain stupid? I know I've used the "If all your friends jumped off a bridge..." line quite a few times and I'm sure I'm not the only parent who has. But sometimes we can forget that peer pressure can be a good thing, too. I counted on it when the boys were in preschool and I couldn't wait until they were potty-trained. The teachers assured me that once they saw all their friends giving up diapers, they would too. The teachers were right. And kids constantly look to their peers for reactions when they know they might be crossing a line, or when they're deciding whether it's OK to try something new.
The camp my boys attend is affiliated with our synagogue. Prayer services are part of the weekly routine. And in each one of his weekly letters home, the Rabbi who runs the camp writes about how wonderful it is to hear the voices of more than 700 children singing and praying together. At home, going to synagogue may not be "cool." But at camp, it's what everyone does - from the teenaged counselors who play guitar down to the youngest campers. Definitely an example of positive peer pressure.
And during our short phone conversation, Micah proudly told me that during his trip to Dorney Park, he'd gone on Hydra and Talon – two very big roller coasters. Some background here: Micah is not a daring kid. He never tried the big zip line at his day camp. When I took him and Billy to Dorney three weeks ago, he was happy to go on the little roller coaster at Camp Snoopy (for littler kids) and had NO INTEREST in the larger coasters. So, I asked him if he was scared. He said at first he was, but he saw all his friends were going on the rides and after he did it, "It was AWESOME!" It was clear that he was proud of himself. And while I don't want him following his friends' examples if they're doing something bad, I do feel it's good for him to be a bit more adventurous when it comes to trying new things that are fun and safe. Trying new things is how we grow.
As parents, though we'd like to think we can teach our kids everything they need to know, we have to realize that we can't. What we can do is expose our children to positive experiences, positive situations and people who will help them make positive decisions. That's why it's so important to know our children's friends (and their parents). Because even if they're only nine years old, sometimes our children's peers can teach them lessons and get them to try things that we can't.
For some more lessons on positive peer pressure, check out the following resources:
http://www.more4kids.info/611/positive-peer-pressure
http://www.teachervision.fen.com/classroom-management/peer-counseling/4737.html
http://at-risk-youth-support.suite101.com/article.cfm/positive_peer_pressure
http://www.parentfurther.com/discipline-values/peer-pressure/encouraging-positive-peer-pressure
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