But with all of the temptations online, with all of the predators ready to take advantage, with all of the cyber-bullying going on out there...well, all of this can convince a parent that too much privacy can be dangerous for your child.
When it comes to online activity, there are things you can do right away that does not require snooping around like an undercover agent. With computers, there are ways to require a login to go online. Doing this may require more time for you to login on this same laptop or desktop. But it can limit what your child is allowed to view and give you piece of mind in the case that you cannot be continuously looking over their shoulders to see what websites they are looking at.
(In retrospect, viewing "history" in a web browser can also give you important information on where a child has been travelling on the internets)
With email, giving them a free account seems best (gmail is very easy to sign up). Your child gets a user name and a password to log into the email account. And when they choose one, you tell the child that you have the password information too, and may log in from time to time to make sure there is no cyber funny-business going on. Usually, that is enough of a deterrent.
When they are old enough to do social networking (Facebook requires you to be 13-years-old), do the same. Require them to provide their password information so that you can "stop by" from time to time to see what they, or their friends, are saying and sending.
If the youngster has an electronic device, hold off on including a camera or a text option until you are sure those options would not be misused.
Finally, about spying. Do you have to do it? Boy, that is a tough call, isn't it?
Personally, I haven't gotten to that point as a parent. Maybe you have. Some say when the day comes, you should go so far as to steal Facebook passwords (that is, if you allow your children to have a private account). A police chief in New Jersey suggests doing just that.
Others disagree, saying, "Hey, maybe offering a little honesty to your child will get a little honesty back." That's what a parenting expert says.
But as we have said before in this Parenting Blog, the beauty of parenting itself is that you as the parent make the choices. And as long as you are comfortable with them, and as long as they get results, you are right every time.
Most of all, just get to know your children. There will be fewer secrets between you that way.
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