In a previous post, I discussed how to tell a toddler about pregnancy but now I've been thinking about how to handle two small children.
Some websites suggested having your toddler come visit in the hospital right away before the rest of the family shows up. Give he or she some intimate time with you, your spouse and your baby to create the sense that "this is the core" before everyone else comes in to focus on the newborn.
The website Aha! Parenting also had this surprising tip: When you head home, let your husband carry in the baby. Mom should go right over to the older child and cover them in hugs and kisses. It gives them the sense that they have your full attention.
All the sites remind you to never leave the children alone, since a seemingly calm child can easily take rash action.
Aha! Parenting again suggested: Don't make the baby the reason for everything. Yes, it's true you can't do something because the baby is napping or eating but sometimes mix it up. Instead say you're waiting on the laundry to finish or for a phone call to come in.
Baby Zone and a number of sites advise trying to make sure every day you find some time to spend with your older child separately. Also, remind visitors not to make all of their conversation with your older child about the baby.
Finally, as much as you can, let your older child know how important he or she is to their new younger sibling. Remind them that the baby is helpless and looks to them for protection and love. Make sure they know that to the baby - Big Brother or Big Sister is a hero.
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