Parenting: Learning the tough lesson of failure

August 1, 2011

Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen that way. Kids succeed, kids fail, and a sports psychologist says that is completely okay.

Dr. K.C. Wilder is an award-winning cyclist and a sports psychologist who says she has seen her fair share of parents overextending their children.

When it comes to sports and children younger than 10 years old, the Bucks County resident says variety is the key.

"The goal there is to help find a sport that they are passionate about, not a sport that mom and dad are passionate about," said Dr. Wilder.

Dr. Wilder wrote a children's book about her personal parenting lessons called "Tour de You." It looks to ease the pressures of attaining perfection amongst young athletes.

She says set goals that children have a chance of reaching.

"If we hold our children to high standards, to strive for perfection, we're going to teach them some mental skills that are ineffective for them in life," she said.

And, Dr. Wilder says, parents should not let their emotions dictate what is best for their child. Who might know better?

Well, the child, of course. Just listen.

"Perhaps we want them to have opportunities that we didn't have," said Dr. Wilder. "So we may make a decision based on what we think is best."

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