Balancing cancer care and holiday expectations

BELLMAWR, N.J. (WPVI) -- Dealing with cancer is tough any time of year.

However, the holidays can put an extra strain on patients and their families.

A South Jersey patient and her social work team at Fox Chase Cancer Center share their tips for making it work.

"Christmas time is my favorite time of year," Tiffany Sontos says with a beaming smile, adding, "I'm the person who's decorating on November 1."

But Tiffany says her 10-year fight against uterine cancer makes holidays challenging and unpredictable.

"I've had numerous surgeries, radiation treatments, interventional radiology treatments, so many bags of chemotherapy drugs," she says,

Social workers Anjali Albanese, MSW, LSW and Mark Itzen, MSW, LCSW, of Fox Chase say patients often have mixed feelings, or even guilt, around the holidays.

"We want to feel joyful. We understand that this is what everybody around us is experiencing, but it's now how we feel inside," notes Anjali.

"We try to encourage them to tailor themselves to the holiday, not let the holiday dictate their experience," Mark adds.

He says patients should be honest with family and loved ones so they understand how he or she feels.

"Any planning that they can do to sort of say, 'this is what I need and want during this holiday because of my energy level or how I'm feeling,'" he notes.

If there's a special event, check with the care team to see if a treatment time can be adjusted to fit that in.

Anjali and Mark jokingly tell patients to have an "escape plan" - a word or phrase telling a loved one they need a break from an event.

And don't be afraid to set aside old holiday traditions and create new ones.

"So that when you're feeling different, it's not like everything else is the same, but you feel different," Anjali says.

Tiffany says her family's holiday excitement, and any time they share at this time of year, lifts her spirits.

"If you don't live right now in this present moment, it's 'I'm letting cancer steal my joy.'"

She says her goal is simple: to make memories together.

"I'm hoping Santa Claus comes and brings them all the gifts they asked for," she says with a smile and child-like laugh.

Anjali and Mark say it's okay and actually very normal to feel happy and sad at the same time: sad you feel different, but happy you're with people you love.