"I went behind his back and used them all," she says. "He didn't want me to. I feel so much guilt for that."
The videographer, identified by Radar as /*Suleman*/'s best friend, says at one point that the sperm donor has a wife and family. But Suleman warns her away from giving away too much about the man, adding that "he'd lose everything he's created in his own life" if his identity was revealed.
Suleman says her older children are increasingly curious about who their biological father is. She refuses to identify him, saying she wants to protect his privacy, but also wants him "to somehow, privately, secretly know (the children) in a controlled manner."
Dipping cheesecake into melted chocolate, Suleman confesses in the video to making some mistakes.
"I screwed myself. I screwed up my life, I screwed up my kids' lives," she says. "I have to put on this strong facade and I have to pretend like I don't regret it."
Suleman gave birth to the world's longest-surviving set of octuplets on Jan. 26.
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