On the one hand, spending nights away from home is important in fostering a child's growing sense of independence. A pediatrician I recently interviewed for a story on preventing homesickness at overnight camp recommended sleeping over at friends' homes as a way of getting a child ready to stay away from home for an extended period.
But, when children get no sleep, or so little sleep that they can barely function the day after a slumber party, that's probably not a good thing. Most of the articles I've read on kids' slumber parties say they're most popular with children ages 8-14. And they have lots of good "do's" and "don'ts." Alice Lanholt, who blogs about slumber parties for the website "life123.com"warns, "Slumber parties can also be a nightmare of sugar-overloaded silliness extending well into the wee hours of the night."
To make a slumber party successful, she suggests limiting the number of guests to the age of the birthday (nine kids for a nine-year-old's party, for example). It's also a good idea to have an "out" time for guests who want to come to the party, but aren't yet comfortable sleeping over. Lanholt also suggests planning activities that peak in excitement level, and then wind down to something quieter as you get closer to the time you'd like the kids to go to sleep.
She writes, "This is a great time to put on a movie, pre-selected for age-appropriateness. After the movie, it will be bedtime. Again, the age of the guests will dictate the appropriate bedtime. Generally speaking, between 11:00 and 11:30 pm is late enough for bedtime, unless the guests are in their teens, in which case, they can be pretty much left to decide when to go to sleep within certain reasonable limits."
PBS.org has similar suggestions, along with tips on how to decide if your child's ready for a slumber party in this article. It also says it's a good idea to have emergency contact numbers for all the guests' parents, just in case one of the children changes his or her mind about staying the night. I do recall having to pick one of the older Buckman Boys up around midnight from his first slumber party many years back.
Other tips from my own experience include having a couple of different rooms designated for the sleep-over. When my son Billy had a slumber party a few years back, the boys who wanted to get some sleep went up to his room with their sleeping bags while the night-owls stayed up later down in the playroom. It's also a good idea to lay down some ground rules at the beginning of the party, such as when they're expected to sleep and whether they can access the kitchen, or use the phone (think crank calls in the middle of the night) or computer.
And as for the parents/hosts, don't count on getting much sleep yourself. Not only do I recall several trips down to the playroom to quiet boys well into the wee hours, but then I got up and made breakfast for Billy's friends before they were picked up in the morning.
Finally, when deciding whether your child should have or attend a slumber party, look at the family's schedule for the next day. Make sure the child (and you, if you're the host) has time to nap and catch up on their sleep. Have fun!
For more tips on successful kids' slumber parties, see these articles:
http://www.childrentoday.com/articles/you-and-your-children/up-all-night-2980/
http://party.kaboose.com/your-sleepover-party-planner.html
http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,5884,00.html
Read more Parenting Perspective blogs by visiting the Parenting Channel on 6abc.com.
