Parenting: Stopping the back-talk

June 15, 2010

Why?

Because my son has become quite adept at not only speaking out, but talking back and just plain arguing when he thinks a rule or a parental decision is unfair.

So what's the best way to nip arguing and back talking in the bud without sacrificing your child's strong-mindedness and self-worth? Some experts I've talked to and have read say it doesn't have to be difficult, but it requires three factors:

1. A parental willingness to hear out the child completely.

2. A willingness to reconsider a rule that may not have been well thought out.

3. A consistency to stick to your guns when a well-deserved no is issued, no matter how much the child complains or whines.

As I've found out with my son, a difference in opinion with a youngster does not have to turn into an argument. Kids love to talk things through, and my son is already a pretty good debater - maybe too good sometimes.

But every good debate needs rules, and most kids will be happy to sit down and plot them out. Of course, this is best done when you're not already in the midst of an argument.

Yet I've found that if I tell my son, I will let him finish his sentence, if I can finish mine, then the back-talk is minimized.

There is also no yelling or screaming. And above all, the parent decides when the discussion is over.

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