Jon Secrist doesn't.
He's a baby-boomer knuckleballer scheduled to pitch tomorrow night for the St. Paul Saints in an exhibition game.
The minor league Minnesota club invited Secrist to their training camp after a tryout in front of their manager.
It's not the first time Secrist tried to make the club.
In 1999, he posted a 9.34 ERA in two appearances for the Saints.
Back then, Secrist was the oldest signed rookie in professional baseball.